Chasity

My whole life has been nothing but stress lately. Sure it has been fun, but I didn’t get to enjoy the kind of fun like everybody else did this season. But it doesn’t really bug me as much as I thought it would. I have learned so much about other people and myself that only this stress could teach me. And it really shed some light on who my true friends were that stuck by me, and I made a lot of new friends that I have a lot of stuff in common with.

I’m super glad that marching band is out of the way now, and the play is this week - so the stress is almost gone.

I lost my cool earlier, and I feel quite foolish about it now. Although I can’t sincerely be honest yet, cause I was pleased with the outcome -

And I think it is beyond ridiculous that my dad didn’t come home tonight to say good bye to me. There are just so many things I want to get out in the open, but I feel reserved… like the moment will present itself.

Lord, please help my broken mind and soul, help me to come back to You in good spirits. Amen.

My parents are so frustrating. They don’t listen to me, they don’t follow through on things that are important to me - they don’t care about me. I’m sick of people trying to tell me otherwise. I’m sick of people telling me to make more of an effort. They’re the adults I’m their child. Yes, they give me freedom - but in exchange for what? I would rather have my parents love me than to be able to do whatever I want - I have the rest of my life to be on my own, so why are they giving me the boot so early on?

Today’s message was about finding your piece in the puzzle. About knowing your spiritual gifts and using them to your fullest ability. But it’s not just about being - it’s about belonging. Do you belong to something that you contribute to? That you use your gift? Belong - Being - Having Faith. Sometimes things don’t pan out the way we want or expect them to, but maybe they are not supposed to.

Everything happens for a reason.

Not just the good, not just the bad, but everything. Sometimes I feel invinsible, today I felt like a human. All in all we are children of God, made by Him and made for Him. Living in Him.

So tired of being busy

So tired of stress

So tired of everyone expecting

So tired of trying my best

Just never a dull moment lately, and everytime I get a glimpse of one somebody has to come and make me feel guilty for skipping something else to get it. However, I am excited for DIII this Saturday. I am excited for Seattle next weekend. And I am excited for the play after that. But in between all the rehearsals, classes, homework and preperation… I do need to take some time for me. I really want to be able to sit down and write a good essay for class. I want to be able to fall asleep without making a list in my head of stuff I need to get done. I want to be able to go spend time with my sister and Dominic. I want to be able to eat healthy enough that my blood cells are able to be donated. Just 2/3 more weeks left of this craziness, then I plan to focus more on quality than quantity.

So I’ve been so busy lately it’s been hard to breathe. I promise to catch up on life in a few weeks when things slow down. But some important dates to remember are:

• Saturday Oct 21st - DIII
• Thursday Oct 26th - Leave for Seattle
• Thursday 2nd - Saturday 4th - Performance nights for “Charley’s Aunt” (the play that I’m in)

I would really love it if everyone could come see the play. It’s $5 to get in I believe, and I’ve been working so hard at it, practically losing any social life I could have had this season, and it would just mean a lot to me if my friends could support me.