Chasity

I bought myself flowers today - and then made cookies to - all in attempt to make myself feel better. It didn’t work.

I’m not sure what it is about today but something is so off inside.

With the feeling that nobody wants me around.

Yeah so I was surfing through myspace and found these on Connor’s blog - go Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’s girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, “HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!” and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend’s bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, “Don’t f–k with Chuck!” Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
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It’s a happy day, and I really really hope that tonight rocks my socks off.

Yeah, so I had my monologue due today in theatre - and I was really nervous about it and I kinda messed up a few lines, but I got a 96% on it, so w00t for that!

My sisy is pregnant! Yayness! She is so happy, and I’m so happy for her. My mom however, I have a prediction, that over the summer she will go through her mid-life crisis.

But yeah, so I will post more later!

Sexy,
Desireable,
Needy,
Independent,
Responsible,
Ready.

The next few weeks are going to be so busy.

Between the play, and BPA, and Disney land, and all the homework, with lent on top of all that - just wow.

Ouch.

This is vague.

But that’s ok.

Where as I am not.

A frog used to hop.

Spontaneously

Higher than any rubber band

Then it stretched

And made it to the lily pad

Where it sat

Looking into the water

It hopped in

And swam

With the tadpoles

It swam

It ate a fly

With it’s tongue

Yum

Then a cat came along

And ate the frog

This is my blog. I can write anything I want. If you read it then fine - yes I write for people to read. But I didn’t write for just one person, and I certainly am not writing to make anyone feel bad. But this is my blog and I don’t have to defend anything that I write on here. So God Bless You All.

I don’t want to fall in love right now. No doubt my emotions crave the belonginess again, but the let down of the reality that most likely my “Mr. Right” isn’t right for me right now.

So why do we get in realtionships? Do we really think that we’re mature enough to be in “love?” I can’t hand myself over to anyone at this point in time. I’m still too selfish. I can love yes - but I can’t do the whole “I’m going to give you my everything love.”

And no matter what most people say right now that are in relationships or think that they love someone… it is almost too soon to tell. Love is hard. Love is work. Love doesn’t just happen overnight - and it has to go both ways.  Or else you are just idolizing something that you think is there.

Love isn’t guilt. Love isn’t who has the biggest power trip. Love isn’t making someone cry or second-guess.

It’s being there - through the good times and the bad. It’s wanting to be together, but also having space. Love grows. Emotions get the best of us sometimes. Emotions had the best of me. Over and over again. But not again.

Or at least not in the same way. I handed myself over to Joey and he handed himself to me. And we tried and… That was my most serious relationship. And I don’t regret it - there are things I should have done differently, but I don’t regret and I don’t wish I could go back.

When I can chanel my energy more towards my spirit and my beliefs and less towards distractions and temptation then when Mr. Right comes along we’ll be ready for eachother.