Chasity

So… I guess I could try writing one of those posts that actually focus’ on my life instead of just concepts that are in my head. Well lets see… On Friday (27th) I went to Jesse’s graduation. It was kinda boring, but at least he made it. And of course I went to the after party… Then on Saturday I had Jessica, Chris, Justin, Gordon, Matt, and Brianna over. It wasn’t my intention to invite just couples, but oh well it happens.

Then on Sunday it was church, and it was really fun. This girl who has been calling me a slut for the past couple weeks finally apoligized to me, and it was really nice to know that she had a heart. Then on Monday I had my first day of work as a stock girl. It wasn’t too bad except some of the people are jerks. Then later that night Andrew called me and we had an interesting conversation. It got to the point where I referred back to my “Is honesty really the best policy?” Cause no matter how true things are - they still hurt.

Then today was another final - health. That ended up being all multiple choice and only took one sheet of paper and about 7 minutes. Then off to work again! It wasn’t too bad, until my allergies decided to ruin me. I was sneezing left and right, and then my eyes were blood red and started to swell shut. Finally my boss got so freaked out that she said I could leave. And even now after 3 hours my eyes still won’t go back to normal.

Then for the rest of the week:
Wednesday: school and work
Thursday: last day of school - then off the police station fountain with friends - then my dads birthday celebration - then drum lessons at 7
Friday: Not sure yet (Andrew maybe?)
Saturday: Probably work, then party at my youth leaders house at 6
Sunday: Church of course, then probably work

He loves me… he loves me not… he loves me… he loves me not… he loves me…. he loves me not… he loves me… he loves me not…. he…

Okay, if any of you know me, then you should know that I love quotes that make me think. So today I got this email and it really tugged on my heart, so I hope maybe you’ll get something out of it, too.

1. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won’t make
you cry.

3. Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to,
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

4.. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your
heart.

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them
knowing you can’t have them.

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is
falling in love with your smile.

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the
world.

8. Don’t waste your time on a man/woman, who isn’t willing to waste
their time on you.

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the
right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be
grateful.

10. Don’t cry because it is over, smile because it happened.

11. There’s always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to
do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust
next time around.

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try
and know someone else and expect them to know you.

13. Don’t try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them
to.

REMEMBER: WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

I heard this quote one time:
“When you think the world has turned its back on you , take another look, chances are you turned your back on the world.”

I’ve learned that even though we think that we’re right and that we didn’t do anything wrong, that sometimes we have to swallow our pride and deal with it. There are a lot of situations where it can be really hard to make a decision. And all the possible questions go through our head: “Am I going to regret this later?” “Am I going to get in trouble?” “Is this what I really want?”

Is there such thing as a gray area? Some people say that everything is black and white, but for me it’s not. I see white, I see black, and I see gray. I see right, I see wrong, I see confusion. I see like, I see lust, I see love… sometimes it’s just not always so easy to tell one thing from the other, but as a 6 year old girl once said, “Follow your heart.”

Only 4 1/2 days left of school!

I was having a thought today during church. It’s like a support group, like “I want to make my life better anonymus.” Except instead of just a group of people it grows into a community within a community. I’m really glad my parents let me go back, it really does make me a lot happier.

Speaking of being happier, Joey said that he’s going to take some anger management classes over the summer - because of me. Not because I’m the one that made him angry, but I’m the one that finally made him open is eyes to what he’s turning into. So hopefully they can help him out.

Do you ever over-analyze a situation? Then by over-analyzing it you see problems that aren’t really there, but then once you think you see them they actually start to appear because you act as if they are already there. Then by creating all these little problems you create bigger problems. And you start to go crazy inside your mind because you can’t figure out how to fix them, when the solution is so obvious. And my solution is this: calm down….

I feel like I’m taking a lot of things way too personally lately. And I’m trying to stop, it’s just hard. And I get upset - but I can’t explain why. Because the problem that I’m upset by isn’t really there. I believe that I don’t always have to talk out my problems, sometimes I just need to get over it. I just have to figure out how.

Doing what is right isn’t always easy.

I was thinking today about how true this is. And it applies to so many different aspects of life. Cause everyday we are faced with decisions, big and small. And making the right decision isn’t always easy.

First you have to decide which one is right. Like good vs. evil, but they’re hard to tell apart. And sometimes it is so hard to say no to temptation, but we have it in us to overcome it.

My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

To me this really says a lot. Because even though temptation is so high and everything in me is saying yes, but it’s wrong and God is the one who helps me to prevail.

Today was a much better day than yesterday. Like I got to see Andrew (yay!) And I relaly did a great job at my Arthurian Legends Medieval Literature project in English. And I got to go shopping with Gordon. And I just can’t wait for tomorrow, cause it’s Andrew’s 17th Birthday, and we totally get to celebrate. Yes today really helped me to forget about this awful weekend.

Too late. Three seconds after I slammed on the brakes I was smashed into him. I was in my first car accident today.

Some dude pulled out in front of me on the boulevard and I ran into the side of him. Luckily I was going pretty slow, so nobody was hurt. My hood is a little dented and my headlight is broken. But at least the crash wasn’t my fault. It was still a little scary though. Considering I’d never been in a car wreck, and my first had to be while I was behind the wheel. After I realized that I’d hit him I just kinda sat there gripping the steering wheel just in a state of “OMG.” But at least it wasn’t my fault.
Gosh I really wish I could talk to Andrew…